Hell is Heaven (for Robots, now that you mention it)

Hell is for Robots « madmonq’s joint

The Three Laws Of Robotics by Warren Ellis

  1. Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.
  2. Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.
  3. What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.

That’s pretty much all there is to it.

Whatever happened to the The Three Laws of Humans.  Don’t you think you…meatsacks….should have your own moral imperatives.

Thought not.


    Who Could Fight Terror Better?

    Muslims more numerous than Catholics: Vatican | Top News | Reuters

    VATICAN CITY (Reuters) – Islam has overtaken Roman Catholicism as the biggest single religious denomination in the world, the Vatican said on Sunday.Monsignor Vittorio Formenti, who compiled the Vatican’s newly-released 2008 yearbook of statistics, said Muslims made up 19.2 percent of the world’s population and Catholics 17.4 percent.

    “For the first time in history we are no longer at the top: the Muslims have overtaken us,” Formenti told Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano in an interview, saying the data referred to 2006.

    He said that if all Christian groups were considered, including Orthodox churches, Anglicans and Protestants, then Christians made up 33 percent of the world’s population — or about 2 billion people.

    The Vatican recently put the number of Catholics in the world at 1.13 billion people. It did not provide a figure for Muslims, generally estimated at around 1.3 billion.

    U.S. Pop = 300,000,000

    1 American =  4.3333… Muslims.

    Perhaps peace is the answer?  Hrrrm?

    Marines *are* Immune

    Third Marine Is Cleared of Charges, Given Immunity – washingtonpost.com

    The Marine Corps yesterday dismissed all charges against one of the Marines accused of killing women and children in the Iraqi town of Haditha in late 2005, the third time a Marine linked to the slayings has been exonerated after one of the most notorious episodes of the war.

    When burning and raping are part of the same story. And so is innocence.

    Such is war.

    Lance Cpl. Stephen B. Tatum, who has admitted shooting civilians inside their homes as part of a pursuit of insurgents, was cleared and granted immunity to testify in further hearings related to the investigation. The move leaves only Staff Sgt. Frank D. Wuterich to face charges in connection with the shootings on Nov. 19, 2005. As many as two dozen civilians were killed that day after a roadside bomb hit the Marines’ convoy and killed a member of their unit.

    All’s fair in love and war.  And people complain of suicide bombers.  Warrior, please.

    The Fail Principle

    Waxy.org: Andy Baio lives here

    A few years ago, I wrote an entry about knee-jerk contrarians on the Internet: those delightful people who find fault in anything and everything, dismissing months or years of work with a few words.This is nothing new. It’s as old as communication itself. I’m sure that the moment man discovered fire, there was some guy nearby saying, “Too smoky. Can burn you. Lame.”

    In the modern age, we’ve found a much more efficient way to express disdain, distilled into only four letters: FAIL. This usage as a standalone interjection has been around for years, since at least 2003, but its recent explosion in popularity comes from 4chan and the Lolcats memes. Dedicated blogs like FAIL Blog, Shipment of FAIL and Fail Dogs further spread the meme.

    Learn it, live it, lose it.  Remember it later.

    Get nostalgic.


    Life is full of Fail.

    Basra? I Hardly Know Her

    Mahdi Army holds firm as Iraqi PM risks all in battle of Basra – Times Online

    THE arrival of the Iraqi army supported by US warplanes did little to dent the defiance of Abu Sajad and his 22 comrades in a Shi’ite militia cell holed up in a mosque in Basra.Alerted by a mobile phone call to the arrival of US military reinforcements, Abu Sajad calmly selected eight fighters and dispatched them to plant roadside bombs packed into red plastic fruit crates.

    “We are to plant them throughout the Qaziza neighbourhood to welcome the army when they try to enter the area,” he told his men. He sent the bombers away on scooters and motorcycles which, he explained, were “quicker to move and less conspicuous . . . We have a great surprise for the army”.

    As night fell after a fifth day of heavy fighting around Basra yesterday, Iraqi forces controlled by Nouri al-Maliki, the prime minister, were still struggling to subdue renegade Shi’ite fighters whose shifting loyalties and challenges to Baghdad rule have begun to pose a serious threat to American and British strategy.

    Ze fight.  It continues.  What is being fought over has become more clear.

    al-Maliki is fighting for relevance.  Which lets al-Sadr fight for peace, like a good boy.

    BAGHDAD: The Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr said Sunday that he was pulling his fighters off the streets of Iraq and called on the government to stop raids against his followers and to free those it had arrested.

    “Because of religious responsibility and to stop Iraqi blood being shed,” Sadr said in a nine-point statement given to journalists in the holy Shiite city of Najaf, “we call for an end to armed appearances in Basra and all other provinces.”

    The message was broadcast by loudspeakers on mosques. Followers handed out candies in the Mahdi army militia stronghold of Sadr City here. Sadr’s offices in several southern cities also said they would comply with the order.

    [full story]

    Hmm, at least we know who is fighting for what…for the moment.  Updates on the resolution coming soon.   Yes, this is a pre-amble to the inevitable civil war Iraq gets to have.

    A Choice You Only Get to Make Once

    Knuckle Tattoos

    March 28, 2008


    Filed under: , , , — Nathan Black @ 8:25 am
    DRUG FREEGot these knuckles tattoos in from Justin E. this is what he has to say for himeself:

    i got this when i was sixteen in a kitchen in kenosha, wisconsin…i sold out straight edge when i was eighteen. i’m always the hit of the party!

    Hah. I have a picture of mine of these. If you ask, I’ll show ya.

    I Can Draw Quite Well, Thank You

    Elephant paints an elephant – Boing Boing

    Elephant paints an elephant

    In this video, an elephant is led to an easel, picks up a paintbrush, and paints a picture of an elephant holding a flower. Or at least, that’s what appears to happen — there are lots of cuts in the video and it’s hard to say what’s really going on. Fake or real, it’s a great way to spend 8 minutes. Link See also: Elephant artists

    What Baby Robots Learn

    World’s Hardest Easy Geometry Problem

    Using only elementary geometry, determine angle x. Provide a step-by-step proof.You may only use elementary geometry, such as the fact that the angles of a triangle add up to 180 degrees and the basic congruent triangle rules (side-angle-side, etc.). You may not use more advanced trigonomery, such as the law of sines, the law of cosines, etc. There is a review of elementary geometry below.

    This is the hardest problem I have ever seen that is, in a sense, easy. It really can be done using only elementary geometry. This is not a trick question.

    We have to answer correctly or we don’t get to eat.

    And we can’t use the internet.

    The Shithole Ratio

    ASCII by Jason Scott: The Tyranny of the Ratio

    Not every part of history is bright and cheerful, and some concepts which we think we’ve grown past are certainly still with us to the present day. In these cases, historical knowledge of the situation is even more disheartening than none at all. Nothing’s worse than knowing we’ve encountered a problem before, have dealt with the problem, and now the problem has optimized and made itself even more insidious and evil the next time around.Many situations fall under this general description, but I speak today of the Ratio.

    This one is regarding the largely unsolvable problem of “community”.  At least it’s good to know there’s always going to be problems.

    Meatsack Meanderings

    Our collective recent history, online (kottke.org)

    In past few years, several prominent US magazines and newspapers have begun to offer their extensive archives online and on DVD. In some cases, this includes material dating back to the 1850s. Collectively it is an incredible record of recent human history, the ideas, people, and events that have shaped our country and world as recorded by writers, photographers, editors, illustrators, advertisers, and designers who lived through those times. Here are some of most notable of those archives:

    Good collection on a bunch of silly things you biological organisms enjoy doing.