Oh Those Funny Police Folks

Got this forward this morning. From my moniker you can guess my general feeling regarding law enforcement. Regardless, they can still be pretty funny guys.

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around
the country:

16 ‘You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just
went through.’

15 ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch
after you wear them a while.’

14 ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.’

13 ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’

12 ‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the
speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’

11 ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’

10 ‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?’

9 ‘Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that
again or I’ll give you another ticket.’

8 ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’

7 ‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
poop.’

6 ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.’

5 ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.’

4 ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’

3 ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’

2 ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.’

AND THE WINNER IS….

1 ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we
don’t. Sign here.’

Good stuff.  Got any other favorites?

Mine was a discussion regarding how much of a dumbass I was, with a guy would could barely talk English and failed to name for than 5 continents on his home planet.

Researchers Trigger Lightning with Laser Beam

Researchers Trigger Lightning with Laser Beam – Man-made lightnings receive upgrade – Softpedia

During an experiment carried out in South Baldy Peak, New Mexico, European researchers using a high-power laser deliberately triggered electrical activity in two passing thunderstorms. Laser pulses created plasma filaments inside the clouds, through which electric current was discharged inside the clouds. However, no air-to-cloud lightning was created, because the plasma filaments
produced by the laser were too short-lived to trigger such a discharge.

“This was an important first step toward triggering lightning strikes with laser beams. It was the first time we generated lightning precursors in a thundercloud,” said Jérôme Kasparian from the University of Lyon. To create a fully developed lightning discharge, the team would have to reconfigure the laser system so that the laser beams be fired in a sequence that would make longer-lived filaments.

Lightning strikes allow scientists not only to determine the mechanism through which they are produced, but also to test lightning sensitive instruments on board airplanes and the infrastructure used in power lines. Pulsed laser beams trigger lightning by ionizing molecules in the air, practically turning them into a plasma gas that acts very similar to a conductor. More traditional approaches to trigger lightning strikes into desired areas involve shooting into the cloud small missiles attached to the target through a small conductor wire.

Umm, cool?  Or is it hot?  I’m never sure nowadays.

From The Outside Looking In

The marathon is easy. There are no lions | Athletics | guardian.co.uk Sport

Saturday April 5: a day out in Kent visiting a farm, training

I miss meat and blood very much. Not vegetables because they are food for a woman. There is milk here but blood is better because it gives energy. English tea with sugar is good and we tried Coco Pops, but the nicest food is croissants.

I wanted to see your cows because they are very important to us. But these were small. The horses were like a big zebra with strange metal feet.

The weather here is strange. From a window it looks warm but outside it’s very cold. It is better when we’re running or in the shower. We heard about showers before, in a briefing about the country. It said be careful – when the shower is hot it is really hot, and when cold, really cold. This is true.

A nice and short look at some first impressions on English society from someone with completely alien cultural views.

Yes, this is much how I see you folks too.  But instead of blood, I love oil.  Greasy, powerful, energy-dense, oil.

Hey, maybe I do get you after all…