False Prophets Abound

Three quick stories for you, see if you can find the theme…

Reporting from Parowan, Utah — Our trip to the Parowan Prophet began with a letter to the St. George Spectrum. It was set among missives proposing that oil companies bail out Detroit automakers, that county inmates be forced to winter in tents, that lawyers be barred from public office. A rough crowd.

This particular letter to the editor in the St. George, Utah, newspaper carried the headline ” ‘Prophet’ shares grim forecast,” and it was signed by one Leland Freeborn of Parowan, who wrote that he was known to many as the Parowan Prophet.

“I think that you should hear what my opinion about the Obama election is: that he will not be the next president. I said on my home page in August that if he lost to expect to see the ‘riots’ that 2 Peter 2:13 tells us about. He didn’t lose. But the story is not finished yet. I still think they may begin the riots before Christmas 2008, as I said.”

These riots, according to his prophecy, will encourage the “old, hard-line Soviet guard” to seize the moment and rain down nukes on the United States, killing at least 100 million of us.

“Prepare now,” Freeborn’s letter concluded. “We are downwind from Las Vegas. I hope you can survive.”

Good luck with that one buddy. I’ll bet you $100,000 you are wrong.  It should be an easy bet for you to take, I know it is for me.  And I’m not a betting man.

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) – A Vatican bioethics document Friday condemned artificial fertilization and other techniques used by many couples and also said human cloning, “designer babies” and embryonic stem-cell research were immoral.

The long awaited document from the Vatican‘s doctrinal body marked a big step by the Vatican into the brave new world of biotechnology, an area in which governments around the world are struggling to formulate legislation.

Yea, quite a brave new step there, condemn everything new, rather than give guidelines on how to use these tools God has provided effectively and morally.  “Don’t Use The Hammer,” was not an effective policy when they were first invented.   “Don’t Hit Your Thumb With the Hammer,” would have been better. “Don’t Kill With It,” is already assumed.

The next major battle over evolutionary theory is likely to occur not in the United States but in the Islamic world or in countries with large Muslim populations, because of rising levels of education and Internet access there, as well as the rising importance of biology, a scientist now says.

Like with Christians or Jews, there is no consensus or “official” opinion on evolution among Muslims. However, some of them say that the theory is a cultural threat that acts as a force in favor of atheism, says Hampshire College’s Salman Hameed in an essay in the Dec. 12 issue of the journal Science. This is the same beef that some Christians have with evolution.

No.  Stop. Turn Around. I know y’all are generally about 150 years behind the West in scientific thought, but please don’t follow the path of the nutters and deny what is obvious and where evidence is plentiful.  Learn from the Hebrews and study this shit and make cool stuff.

Really, if you guys figure out this genetic stuff you could finally tell how many living children the Prophet *really* has.  We can finally settle this “syed” business for reals.  Science is your friend, give it your right hand.

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Big Ears and His Weekly Address

Seriously, can someone please let him know that he has two choices to fix this problem.  Either grow back the fro or get a better background.

It was tough to follow his address as I kept trying to calculate how much spare “change” I could keep in those satellite dishes on the sides of his head.