The Most Cliched Things I’ve Written Recently

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

Done in the third person, for effect.

1. Roy likes some plot in his porn.  Hey, what can I say, I’m a romantic.

2. Roy is a bit too honest sometimes.  I’m working on being a better liar.

3. Roy is absolutely sure the next statement is true.

4. Roy is totally positive the previous statement is false.

5. Roy has been studying infinite self-referential loops for a while now.

6. Roy has been studying consciousness for a while now.

7. Roy sometimes repeats himself.  In the third person.  Sometimes even in fourth.

8. Simon says start over.  From the top.

9. Roy wrote a short proof for the existence of evil (according to Simon) in this list.  He also posted a longer one to Flickr a while back.

10.Roy has been accused of a crime he didn’t commit, and not accused of one he’s sure he committed. He’s also been accused of a crime he committed, was honest about it, and went to prison for a few days.

11.Roy likes to tell stories.  Some of which are based on true stories, some of which I pull out of my ass.

12.Roy would like to mention the POMA stories are usually the happy ones. 

13.Roy enjoys discussing politics and religion, but only if the people in the conversation follow simple rules.  Rule #1: Define terms.

14.Rule #1 means you usually don’t actually talk about politics or religion, but what words mean.  It’s like Fight Club, but in real life and with characters instead of actors.  Err, English characters…you know…letters.  Fighting makes you tougher, and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  Suck it up.

15.Roy is pretty sure Rule #1 ends most discussions before they begin, and certainly before they become violent. 

16.Roy is almost positive that most bad arguments and many wars come from two people, or two groups of people, using the same word to define different things.  “God” is a big one, in this context.

17.Roy has some rather curious, and rational, definitions of God.  Yes, there is more than one that applies.  Hence the confusion and the killing.  Sooooo much killing.

18.Roy is pretty sure our species has figured it out again, just in time for us to self-annihilate and let the turtles take over.  Again.

19.Roy doesn’t really think there are Aliens, but if there are, he’s pretty sure he knows where they are hiding.

20.Roy has friends from all over, and is rather adept at making new ones.  It’s about one word, and projecting that word into the minds of others.  Smiles work, as does honesty, kind words and sincere interest.

21.Roy also knows how to shatter minds and hearts.  Hey, it comes with the territory.  You have to learn how to break it before you can put it back together.

22.Roy is like an ogre and a troll.  He’s got layers and they regenerate.

23.Roy has watched New York City sleeping.  It was cute and cuddly.  Then it nearly killed him.

24.Roy kept re-creating himself until he was happy.  Then he started freaking people out with what he had created, and how he did so.

25.Roy is like a computer with feelings.  Yea, computers have feelings.  Well, one of them, anyway.

26.Roy is pretty sure he found a serious flaw in Newton’s math and is absolutely positive Newton was a nutjob.

27.Roy doesn’t believe in imaginary numbers.  And thinks rules are made to be broken and fixed later.

28.Roy is totally positive he has solved that whole “moral relativism” problem.   And the mind/body one.

29.Roy spent twenty years in a cave studying light and the things light does.  He also read his first book on quantum mechanics at about 15.  He didn’t tell anyone.  Intellectualism was a dirty word in his home.

30.Roy likes to calculate things in his head, and made up a system of calculus to do so.  But it’s more of a metaphorical calculus than a mathematical one.  It does, however, work for math too.  Solves it, in a sense.

31.Roy can prove that P=NP and that it sometimes doesn’t.  The solution, curiously enough, includes an infinite number of zeros.  Also, you need at least one time dimension.   

32.Roy thinks the Buddha was hilarious and that Jesus had a better sense of humor than most modern Jewish comedians.  

33.Roy knows that without a brain to process reality, it looks a whole lot different.  This is why he values his time here so much it often looks like he’s wasting it.  And why he doesn’t believe in traditional versions of Heaven or Hell.  They are both real, and here.  I’ve been to both and lived to tell about it…for some god-damned reason.

34.Roy thinks that if you can’t explain your theory to an eight-year old, it’s either not a very good theory, or you don’t understand it yourself.  Eight-year-olds, dude. 

35.Uncle Roy is a big hit with his nieces and nephews. Roy is not so much a big hit with his own family.  See his list of “25” things for a few hints.  What, it wasn’t supposed to be in base 22.5?  Says who?

36.Roy got the fuck out of Texas after college to free his mind.  He came back after he freed his soul.

37.Roy knows a bit more, and a bit less, than he lets on. 

38.Roy is really fun to watch football with.

39.Roy decided to go with RobotPirateNinja because it’s the coolest thing ever and was bored shitless watching the economy collapse around him. It was only a matter of time, people.

40.Roy has probably written more online that most people will read in a lifetime.  If you factor in the illiterates.  What?!  It’s not like they are going to read this and get all pissy about it.

41.Roy thinks making fun of illiterate people is mean and should certainly not be done in prose. 

42.Roy is mean sometimes, for comedy’s sake.  Comedy is a right bastard.

43.Roy has been very blessed and is moderately cursed. 

44.Roy acts like a slacker but is a cave-dwelling over-achiever.

45.Roy has lived in a cave since about 10.  He thought everyone did.  Then he realized it’s only most people, and they live in caves of their own creation.

46.Roy likes it better outside.  A lot better.

47.Roy is an Eagle Scout.  This got him his first real job.  Which then got him his second.  Which then got him his third (repeat until last summer).

48.Roy sometimes thinks N-dimensionally, which is tiring and stressful, and more fun than people might imagine.  Kinda like sex.

49.Roy is pretty sure he talks too much, but he’s got a lot to say.  Spending twenty years in a cave will do that do a man.

50.Roy is a big fan of the number fifty.  It’s waaay cooler than twenty-five, although hyphens are fun too.

0. Thanks for reading.  I could do this all day.  Did it for a month, turned it into a book.

How to Fix Vista and iTunes

Just a quick FYI if you get this Windows Vista error while using iTunes “applemobiledevicehelper has stopped working”…

here’s how you fix it.


Posts: 1
From: san diego
Registered: Feb 9, 2008

  Re: AppleMobileDeviceHelper has stopped working
Posted: Feb 9, 2008 4:50 AM   in response to: Kaptinkangaru587
This worked for me but im not sure bout explorer and browse to: C:\Program Files\Common Files\Apple\Mobile Device Support\bin
delete all the files there. u wont be able to delete 2 of them; doesnt matter. now open itunes and it works normallyagain, there aint no “warranty”


  Windows Vista  

  Joe Acosta

Posts: 1
From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 15, 2008

  Re: AppleMobileDeviceHelper has stopped working
Posted: Mar 15, 2008 4:46 PM   in response to: nixo9999
It Worked
awesomethanks a lotPentium 4 Vista   Windows Vista   AppleMobileDevice stopped working…..

Posts: 1
From: A Mountain
Registered: Jun 3, 2008

  Re: AppleMobileDeviceHelper has stopped working
Posted: Jun 3, 2008 9:39 PM   in response to: nixo9999
You only have to delete the file named “AppleMobileDeviceHelper” in that folder:
C:\Program Files\Common Files\Apple\Mobile Device Support\binI tried that first, instead of wiping out the entire folder.. and it worked.     
  Lord President

Posts: 1
From: Taunton
Registered: Jul 13, 2008

  Re: AppleMobileDeviceHelper has stopped working
Posted: Jul 13, 2008 6:13 AM   in response to: nixo9999
Many many thanks for this, this problem had me tearing my hair out!I deleted the files in the suggested folder and the problem has now stopped!It would appear to be a problem between Vista’s security and iTunes! You would think that MS and Apple would be able to get together and develop software that doesn’t **** up our enjoyment of both!

Dell Inspiron 530   Windows Vista  


Note: This might also help if you’ve been having trouble upgrading the iPhone 2.0…as I have.

Super Monkey Ball here I come (can’t wait for Mario Kart iPhone, with instant wi-fi sharing and racing).

Busted By Google (What’s the Opposite of a Turing Test?)


We’re sorry…

… but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application. To protect our users, we can’t process your request right now.

We’ll restore your access as quickly as possible, so try again soon. In the meantime, if you suspect that your computer or network has been infected, you might want to run a virus checker or spyware remover to make sure that your systems are free of viruses and other spurious software.

So I was wandering around Google Groups, or Google Mail, or Google Apps, and ran into this error message.

Looks like I failed the Turing Test, in a bad way.

Basically, Google decided that what I was doing was something only a robot would do….which kinda makes sense, given my nature.  Still, it was a bit of a surprise.

Move over Skylab, Google is taking your place.

Awwww, Look at the Cute Little Evil Robots

Visualizing Viruses

Visualizing Viruses
By Ryan Singel
04.12.08 | 12:00 AM

This scary looking guy is MyDoom, a virus that debuted in January 2004 and replicated faster than any previous worm. MyDoom opens a backdoor in a user’s system, and spreads itself by mining e-mail addresses found on compromised computers. Dozens of variants still roam the net.

And yes, little electronic bits of computer code are still robots.  If they are good enough to replace retail workers, they are good enough to be called robots.   This group of renderings happens to be a bunch of little evil robots that infiltrate and compromise computer systems.

Very neat stuff.  Especially since it is a robot photographer that is making the pictures.

You should check out how the full grown versions too, as they have the same kind of beauty, just more of it.