Music and the Economic Collapse of the U.S.

This is a pretty good example of what my book is like…my intellectual ramblings divided by popular culture references. The book is also my philosophy “dissertation”. However, unlike most phi-disses, this one was created to be understood by another with the capacity to appreciate simple culture, and not necessarily someone who has a doctorate in cognitive neuroscience, psychology, physics, medicine, English, or any of the other fields which I reference in the book.

How Do I Turn Off Tony Kornheiser?

Tony Kornheiser was a passable general sportcaster and I guess a decent columnist at some point in his career.

I never read his crap so I can’t say for sure.  After having to listen to him on Monday Night Football for a couple years, now I just want to punch him in the balls.  Repeatedly.  Until he shuts up.

He has an obvious chip on his shoulder against the Cowboys, which is fine, all sorts of idiots do, but he’s also one of my biggest pet peeves in sportscasters….ones who never played the game (second behind people who played for the Redskins named Joe Theisman).

Why can’t I have Troy Aikman and Big Head do the commentary?  Oh yeah….because everyone in the country who has cable has to pay for ESPN and they had enough cash to buy Monday Night Football.  And ESPN picked some fast-talking northerner who they already had on contract.

Yet the questions remains…how do I turn off Tony Kornheiser?  Maybe just filter his comments?  Replace his voice with a computerized one and random words?  Maybe with the auto-announcer from Madden?  I’m not talking about whacking him or anything, I just want to never hear his voice again and think it should be against federal law to transmit it over the airwaves.

BTW, so far the Cowboy/Eagle game has been pretty classic, with two idiotic plays and three amazing ones, in the first half.

Go Cowboys.

Oh, and by the way, jackass Kornheiser, real fans in Dallas don’t “assume” the Superbowl.  We just want to make it to the playoffs and win one game there.  What happens after that is after that.  Baby steps.

You see..we actually know football down here…unlike your yankee ass.

Damn Redskin fans.

UPDATE: What a dickhole.  If I had had Tony Kornheiser censored I woldn’t have heard about Andy Reed’s sons in jail, again.   Why bring that up again?  What does that have to do with the game of football?  Damn tabloid “journalist”.  STFU.

UPDATE2: The Cowboys won 41-37 in a classic, marred forever by any number of asinine observations, topped by the biggest whopper of them all.  When it was all said in done, summed up in the way on he can, Tony Kornheiser was heard to cliche, “How ’bout ‘dem Cowboys.”

I threw my TV out the window.

It was the quickest way I could solve the problem.  Tony, I’m sending you the bill.

More of the first weekend of Football season (More on why I love football)

Just wanted to say real quick to new readers, in addition to my passion to figuring out the hell is going on in the world, I enjoy a good game of football.  If I’m jones’in, then I really enjoy even a mediocre game of football.

I don’t particularly enjoy Arean football, but that’s another story.

This weekend we got to see Brett “the Jet” Favre join the ranks of the unbeaten, Tom “Babby Daddy” Brady (and all of New England/Boston) got his (their) unfortunate (deserved) comeuppance, the Panthers had a “Hail Sarah” answered, the Cowboys won, and it was the weekend the Refs took over College Football.

To follow-up, Brett…good luck, it wasn’t a dirty play, the Cowboys won large(:-), and Refs, can’t play without ’em, can’t hit ’em.  But they do sometimes make for good conversationalists.*

If you have any other highlights from the weekend, especially from collegio, feel free to share.

* I played for 10 years, from 6th-16th grade, mostly middle/inside linebacker.  I had a few fun conversations with refs over the years.  My favorite was saying “What?! He spit in my face!” after I had slapped an opposing quarterback upside the head after he came up jawing, getting a first down inside our ten, late in a close game.  He hadn’t spit in my face, but my face was wet, and a bit bloody.  It’s not real football without blood, as Tony Romo proved today.  But let’s get back to my glory days for a moment, if I might.

It had been raining for days in St. Louis and the field was a mess.  It happened right here, a little less than 12 years ago.  It was my first senior year in college and we were undefeated at the start of the game.  I don’t recall exactly, but I think they might have been as well.

It was a very close game.  They had already missed two short field goals, and led 12-10 in the fourth quarter.  When the aforementioned head-smacking incident happened they had a first and goal.  They were determined to win, we were determined to stop them.  Kind of rock meets hard place kind of situation.  Like every single play in football, from peewee to pro.

We stopped ’em, in four downs, on the three or so.  I got a stinger on second down, they called a timeout before third and feeling returned before they came back on the field.  We blasted ’em, two yards deeps in the back field on third, our tackle stunt occupied their inside and two backers (me included) came hard to fill the gap.  On fourth down they tried a swing pass and our d-end, corner, and weakside backer converged to end their drive.

Our offense took the ball and drove down the field.  All I really remember of the drive is that we kicked a 42(3?)-yard fiend goal to win, 13-12.  For reals.  In 1996, against Washington University in St. Louis.

It was the brightest moment in my football career, and one of the highlights of Trinity’s, until this happened.

There’s another ole football story about the field where that play happened.  It happened to be the last place I played…and lost (Trinity/Millsaps, same year).   I was *very* happy to see the place redeemed and the curse removed (Another Roy had some…issues since I was there, and I was there at that one too…note the first comment…that’s one of mine from six years ago…weird.).

BTW, and just as a quick FYI.  I didn’t mean to go thorugh this story when I started this post.  Sometimes it’s great fun to write…especially when you have interyoutubes to play with.

Oh My Do I Love Football Season

I just wanted to say how happy I am that football season is finally back.   Football season has a special place deep in the heart of many Texans, and not only because it’s our state religion.  No, the reason football has a special place in our hearts is because it is the signal, much like the native pyramids of Central America, that summer is nearly over.

At least the really hot part of summer.  Now, with football season back, we are into the milder “Second Summer” that Texans know and love (for those in say…the northeast…our Second Summer is much like your original one.  Our real summers are like hell.)

With all that crap being said, let me move onto the real point of this post…pointing out the Dallas Cowboys beat the Cleveland Browns, 28-10.

It was tough to see Marion Barber go down, and extremely difficult to watch that Tony Romo Pepsi™ commericial, but a ‘w’ is a ‘w’ and Felix Jones looks to be amazing.  T.O. got his requisite penalty and Jason Witten owned the middle of the field.

I’m looking forward to see what the Boys can do this year, although I’m not one of those idiots who expect a Superbowl appearance.  I’d be very, very happy with a playoff win, which the Cowboys haven’t had since I was in college.  Get there first, win a game, then we’ll talk rings.