The following is a conversation about a girl I met in the final moments of 2008 {the white “Russian”. She mentioned a passion for Russian literature, and that’s how I remember her.}. I gave her my card, but I’m not sure if she’ll call. She is a quiet girl.
I’ll be playing the role of “the Dude.” A friend of mine will be playing a dead queen, Queen Elizabeth of England. [I “talk” to dead people some times, and yes, I can “see” them too.]
To continue…
—
[Roy lamenting about the girl who won’t call. The white “Russian”. The Dude’s favorite drink. We pick up the conversation, already in progress… ]
10:10am : The Dude :
The quiet ones never call, BTW.
10:11am : Queen Elizabeth :
that’s not true. sometimes they get up the courage/balls to call
10:13am : Queen Elizabeth
and then the guy does turn out to be a jerk and that is why she won’t call the next time and that is probably also why she is a quiet girl to begin with. 🙂
10:15am : The Dude
Indeed. She already met a jerk, and thinks I might be one too.
I did mention that whole fight with my friend, right? He’s one of those kind of guys. I’m not.
10:18am : Queen Elizabeth
yes, you told me about your friend
10:19am : The Dude
I’m going to post our text message conversation later…just to make him talk to me again.
10:19am : Queen Elizabeth
or piss him off again.
you had this fight over texts?
10:19am : The Dude
Well, yea.
Oh yea.
Big time.
10:20am : Queen Elizabeth
why don’t you try calling him directly this morning?
10:20am : The Dude
The last part of it. I physically threw him out of my apartment, then the text messaging started.
Because it’s his turn. I had the last word in the conversation, and it’s his turn to talk.
10:20am : Queen Elizabeth
why not save the conversation for when people are more sober
oh blah
10:20am : The Dude
I’m sober as a clam. I didn’t really drink that much last night.
🙂
And he did a LOT of blow.
Probably is still awake right now.
He doesn’t know what he says when he gets like that, which is why I’m going to provide a “gentle” reminder.
10:21am : Queen Elizabeth
you had a party in your apartment?
why don’t you try calling him directly and reminding him? or resending those texts to him?
10:22am : The Dude
After party. We were just going to hang for a bit and start making calls. It’s a Dallas tradition. 🙂
10:22am : Queen Elizabeth
as in “remember saying this – ….”
10:22am : The Dude
I am going to. Just not directly to him.
10:22am : Queen Elizabeth
start making calls?
okay passive aggressive, why not directly to him?
10:23am : The Dude
[those digits…that one girl, the table dancing one…called us about 3 or so. We were talking and didn’t answer]
Because sometimes I think that’s the right way to go.
10:23am : Queen Elizabeth
ah – the booty calls
10:23am : The Dude
Indeed.
He won’t listen to me now, and has to hear about it from another direction.
10:25am : Queen Elizabeth
okay. whatever you say.
10:25am : The Dude
🙂
10:25am : Queen Elizabeth
how will he know that you are posting
so this whole firescreen thing might be a little more important than i had thought
10:26am : The Dude
hehe, exactly what I was thinking. Sometimes you have to have a firescreen or you get burned.
10:27am : Queen Elizabeth
not so much that because i’m pretty sure i know not to sit in the fire and get burned…
10:27am : The Dude
One doesn’t have to sit in the fire to get burned, sometimes just being close is enough.
10:27am : Queen Elizabeth
It’s the fun sounding pops that send out little sparks into the living room on hardwood (and I’m sure flammable) floors
10:27am : The Dude
indeed.
10:28am : Queen Elizabeth
damn.
10:28am : The Dude
Although hardwood is rather hard wood to light.
10:28am : Queen Elizabeth
maybe. i’m assuming if enough sparks land on said floor…
10:28am : The Dude
…they might burn you. So you keep quiet, even though you love the sound of wood burning.
🙂
10:29am : Queen Elizabeth
?
10:29am : The Dude
hehe. We are talking about two things at the same time.
Didn’t you realize?
10:30am : Queen Elizabeth
uh, yes. i was pretty certain you were talking about something different.
i, in addition to having moments of wit, can be smart sometimes as well.
10:30am : The Dude
One would hope.
10:31am : Queen Elizabeth
what – that i was smart?
10:32am : The Dude
No…just that one would hope. It’s an end statement to a good exchange of information. Like “indeed” or “word” or “whatever”. Which are two others we’ve used so far [rpn: and one I added while editing].
10:36am : Queen Elizabeth
don’t forget “right”.
10:37am : The Dude
I can’t forget “right”. I told you I was a “what” didn’t I? 🙂
10:37am : Queen Elizabeth
so are you not going to call the number that you have?
10:37am : The Dude
I dunno. That girl I’ve met before and all she wants is attention.
She’s not really there, inside her head, as far as I can tell. At least not yet.
She is pretty hot though. 🙂
10:38am : Queen Elizabeth
that exchange there is why i will never understand men
10:38am : The Dude
You should read my book. The whole thing. I explain why this is in much greater detail.
Men have *needs*.
10:39am: Queen Elizabeth
let’s not even start that
10:40am : The Dude
Hehe. Basically, the hot blond with the big boobs and small brain is a, unfortunately, better answer than no girl. But it’s a worse answer than the hot blond with the regular boobs and the big brain.
If you catch my drift.
10:41am : Queen Elizabeth
the white russian
10:41am : The Dude
Indeed. My favorite drink.
10:49am : The Dude
Do you mind if I use this conversation as a story? I won’t use your name.
10:51am : Queen Elizabeth
what? what parts of it?
10:52am : The Dude
starting at “the quiet ones new call, BTW”
I want to put in on my website. In case the white russian reads it.
I think she’ll get it. Or at least…one would hope.
[i did give her a card with my name on it. Both my real one and the character I play.]
errr, the quiet ones NEVER call…
sometimes my optimism bleeds into my conversations….
10:54am :Queen Elizabeth
yes, that is completely optimistic – to think that she will never call you
so where would this conversation stop?
10:54am : The Dude
“Indeed. My favorite drink.”
The story is called “The White Russian, My Favorite Drink.”
🙂
10:56am : Queen Elizabeth
so your story would include the stuff about your friend?
10:57am : The Dude
Yes.
remember…”passive aggressive.” Hold you ground.
err, Hold YOUR ground.
He knows he’s an asshole. He just lies to himself about it.
A lot.
10:58am : Queen Elizabeth
why do i need to remember passive aggressive and to hold my ground?
10:58am : The Dude
Because they are the same concept. The same idea. Sometimes you need to hold your ground, but it is not a good way to live your life.
11:00am : The Dude
[nice pic]
11:01am : Queen Elizabeth
thanks!
11:02am : Queen Elizabeth
it wasn’t the fire’s most impressive moment…. but you get the idea
11:02am : The Dude
Yes. You shared the though, err, your status.
the thought. Man I suck at typing.
11:04am : Queen Elizabeth
kind of stinks. seeing as how you are giving a go at this writing/author thing
11:09am : The Dude
That’s why editing sucks.
11:09am : Queen Elizabeth
i can edit!
11:09amThe Dude
[and I’m a Philosopher]
[what I am, I mean]
BTW, this conversation has gotten waaay better. Can I post it?
I’ll just use your character’s name, if you don’t mind.
11:10am : Queen Elizabeth
i have a character name?
11:10amThe Dude
Yes.
Do you want to know what it is?
11:10am : Queen Elizabeth
what, pray tell, is it?
11:11am : The Dude
They made a movie about you, in your ideal form.
11:11am : Queen Elizabeth
well, duh.
and is this something that you’ve just picked out?
11:12am : The Dude
Yes.
This has been an honest conversation. And the truth springs from “arguments” among friends.
11:13am : Queen Elizabeth
so…what’s my name?
11:13am : The Dude
Queen Elizabeth the Great. The movie is about another queen though.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414055/
[the whole %last name% thing was a big hint]
11:14am : Queen Elizabeth
so you are going to use my name
11:14am : The Dude
Not if you don’t want me too.
11:14am : Queen Elizabeth
whatever.
11:14am : The Dude
I can edit that out. And just call you “Queen Elizabeth” the whole time.
11:15am : Queen Elizabeth
so you are going to post this and people are going to comment on it?
11:15am : The Dude
I can make it so no one can comment.
11:15am : Queen Elizabeth
are you going to narrate or give some sort of commentary?
11:15am : The Dude
What do you think we’ve been doing? 😉
[this story explains itself, I think]
——–
[coda]
The Dude : Well? What’s your decision? She might be reading the site now, and I don’t want her to miss it.
Queen Elizabeth : go for it
The Dude : You rock!
Queen Elizabeth : whatever
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