The following is a conversation about a girl I met in the final moments of 2008 {the white “Russian”.  She mentioned a passion for Russian literature, and that’s how I remember her.}.  I gave her my card, but I’m not sure if she’ll call.  She is a quiet girl.

I’ll be playing the role of “the Dude.”  A friend of mine will be playing a dead queen,  Queen Elizabeth of England.  [I “talk” to dead people some times, and yes, I can “see” them too.]

To continue…

—

[Roy lamenting about the girl who won’t call.  The white “Russian”.  The Dude’s favorite drink. We pick up the conversation, already in progress… ]

10:10am : The Dude :

The quiet ones never call, BTW.

10:11am : Queen Elizabeth :

that’s not true. sometimes they get up the courage/balls to call

10:13am : Queen Elizabeth

and then the guy does turn out to be a jerk and that is why she won’t call the next time and that is probably also why she is a quiet girl to begin with.  🙂

10:15am : The Dude

Indeed. She already met a jerk, and thinks I might be one too.

I did mention that whole fight with my friend, right?  He’s one of those kind of guys. I’m not.

10:18am : Queen Elizabeth

yes, you told me about your friend

10:19am : The Dude

I’m going to post our text message conversation later…just to make him talk to me again.

10:19am : Queen Elizabeth

or piss him off again.

you had this fight over texts?

10:19am : The Dude

Well, yea.

Oh yea.

Big time.

10:20am : Queen Elizabeth

why don’t you try calling him directly this morning?

10:20am : The Dude

The last part of it. I physically threw him out of my apartment, then the text messaging started.

Because it’s his turn. I had the last word in the conversation, and it’s his turn to talk.

10:20am : Queen Elizabeth

why not save the conversation for when people are more sober

oh blah

10:20am : The Dude

I’m sober as a clam. I didn’t really drink that much last night.

🙂

And he did a LOT of blow.

Probably is still awake right now.

He doesn’t know what he says when he gets like that, which is why I’m going to provide a “gentle” reminder.

10:21am : Queen Elizabeth

you had a party in your apartment?

why don’t you try calling him directly and reminding him? or resending those texts to him?

10:22am : The Dude

After party. We were just going to hang for a bit and start making calls. It’s a Dallas tradition. 🙂

10:22am : Queen Elizabeth

as in “remember saying this – ….”

10:22am : The Dude

I am going to. Just not directly to him.

10:22am : Queen Elizabeth

start making calls?

okay passive aggressive, why not directly to him?

10:23am : The Dude

[those digits…that one girl, the table dancing one…called us about 3 or so. We were talking and didn’t answer]

Because sometimes I think that’s the right way to go.

10:23am : Queen Elizabeth

ah – the booty calls

10:23am : The Dude

Indeed.

He won’t listen to me now, and has to hear about it from another direction.

10:25am : Queen Elizabeth

okay. whatever you say.

10:25am : The Dude

🙂

10:25am : Queen Elizabeth

how will he know that you are posting

so this whole firescreen thing might be a little more important than i had thought

10:26am : The Dude

hehe, exactly what I was thinking. Sometimes you have to have a firescreen or you get burned.

10:27am : Queen Elizabeth

not so much that because i’m pretty sure i know not to sit in the fire and get burned…

10:27am : The Dude

One doesn’t have to sit in the fire to get burned, sometimes just being close is enough.

10:27am : Queen Elizabeth

It’s the fun sounding pops that send out little sparks into the living room on hardwood (and I’m sure flammable) floors

10:27am : The Dude

indeed.

10:28am : Queen Elizabeth

damn.

10:28am : The Dude

Although hardwood is rather hard wood to light.

10:28am : Queen Elizabeth

maybe. i’m assuming if enough sparks land on said floor…

10:28am : The Dude

…they might burn you. So you keep quiet, even though you love the sound of wood burning.

🙂

10:29am : Queen Elizabeth

?

10:29am : The Dude

hehe. We are talking about two things at the same time.

Didn’t you realize?

10:30am : Queen Elizabeth

uh, yes. i was pretty certain you were talking about something different.

i, in addition to having moments of wit, can be smart sometimes as well.

10:30am : The Dude

One would hope.

10:31am : Queen Elizabeth

what – that i was smart?

10:32am : The Dude

No…just that one would hope. It’s an end statement to a good exchange of information. Like “indeed” or “word” or “whatever”. Which are two others we’ve used so far [rpn: and one I added while editing].

10:36am : Queen Elizabeth

don’t forget “right”.

10:37am : The Dude

I can’t forget “right”. I told you I was a “what” didn’t I?  🙂

10:37am : Queen Elizabeth

so are you not going to call the number that you have?

10:37am : The Dude

I dunno. That girl I’ve met before and all she wants is attention.

She’s not really there, inside her head, as far as I can tell.  At least not yet.

She is pretty hot though. 🙂

10:38am : Queen Elizabeth

that exchange there is why i will never understand men

10:38am : The Dude

You should read my book. The whole thing. I explain why this is in much greater detail.

Men have *needs*.

10:39am: Queen Elizabeth

let’s not even start that

10:40am : The Dude

Hehe. Basically, the hot blond with the big boobs and small brain is a, unfortunately, better answer than no girl. But it’s a worse answer than the hot blond with the regular boobs and the big brain.

If you catch my drift.

10:41am : Queen Elizabeth

the white russian

10:41am : The Dude

Indeed. My favorite drink.

10:49am : The Dude

Do you mind if I use this conversation as a story? I won’t use your name.

10:51am : Queen Elizabeth

what? what parts of it?

10:52am : The Dude

starting at “the quiet ones new call, BTW”

I want to put in on my website. In case the white russian reads it.

I think she’ll get it. Or at least…one would hope.

[i did give her a card with my name on it.  Both my real one and the character I play.]

errr, the quiet ones NEVER call…

sometimes my optimism bleeds into my conversations….

10:54am :Queen Elizabeth

yes, that is completely optimistic – to think that she will never call you

so where would this conversation stop?

10:54am : The Dude

“Indeed. My favorite drink.”

The story is called “The White Russian, My Favorite Drink.”

🙂

10:56am : Queen Elizabeth

so your story would include the stuff about your friend?

10:57am : The Dude

Yes.

remember…”passive aggressive.”  Hold you ground.

err, Hold YOUR ground.

He knows he’s an asshole. He just lies to himself about it.

A lot.

10:58am : Queen Elizabeth

why do i need to remember passive aggressive and to hold my ground?

10:58am : The Dude

Because they are the same concept. The same idea. Sometimes you need to hold your ground, but it is not a good way to live your life.

11:00am : The Dude

[nice pic]

11:01am : Queen Elizabeth

thanks!

11:02am : Queen Elizabeth

it wasn’t the fire’s most impressive moment…. but you get the idea

11:02am : The Dude

Yes. You shared the though, err, your status.

the thought. Man I suck at typing.

11:04am : Queen Elizabeth

kind of stinks. seeing as how you are giving a go at this writing/author thing

11:09am : The Dude

That’s why editing sucks.

11:09am : Queen Elizabeth

i can edit!

11:09amThe Dude

[and I’m a Philosopher]

[what I am, I mean]

BTW, this conversation has gotten waaay better. Can I post it?

I’ll just use your character’s name, if you don’t mind.

11:10am : Queen Elizabeth

i have a character name?

11:10amThe Dude

Yes.

Do you want to know what it is?

11:10am : Queen Elizabeth

what, pray tell, is it?

11:11am : The Dude

They made a movie about you, in your ideal form.

11:11am : Queen Elizabeth

well, duh.

and is this something that you’ve just picked out?

11:12am : The Dude

Yes.

This has been an honest conversation. And the truth springs from “arguments” among friends.

11:13am : Queen Elizabeth

so…what’s my name?

11:13am : The Dude

Queen Elizabeth the Great. The movie is about another queen though.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0414055/

[the whole %last name% thing was a big hint]

11:14am : Queen Elizabeth

so you are going to use my name

11:14am : The Dude

Not if you don’t want me too.

11:14am : Queen Elizabeth

whatever.

11:14am : The Dude

I can edit that out. And just call you “Queen Elizabeth” the whole time.

11:15am : Queen Elizabeth

so you are going to post this and people are going to comment on it?

11:15am : The Dude

I can make it so no one can comment.

11:15am : Queen Elizabeth

are you going to narrate or give some sort of commentary?

11:15am : The Dude

What do you think we’ve been doing?  😉

[this story explains itself, I think]

——–

[coda]

The Dude :  Well? What’s your decision? She might be reading the site now, and I don’t want her to miss it.

Queen Elizabeth : go for it

The Dude : You rock!

Queen Elizabeth : whatever