The Unofficial (not quite yet) Authoritative Biography of Glenn Beck done via Background Images (part 1)

[please note: this is but merely the 2011 version of this august document, my hope is that for the good of humanity, I am able to continue my work documenting this most American of Americans for many many long and glorious years into the future.]

Let it not be said of the man, the man Glenn Beck, that he did not have background images.  Yea, verily, let it be said and said truthful, the man, the man Glenn Back, has many background images.

Indeed there is not little that can be learned from the background images of Glenn Beck, and for that reason, and that reason alone, I ask that you let me begin.  I beg of you, let me begin my Unofficial (not quite yet) Authoritative Analysis of Glenn Beck Dot Com Background Images.   Please, for the good of us all, let me continue.

To begin:

bg00.jpg : Glenn, like all of us, like America herself, came from nothing.  Nothing at all.

Glenn has nothing.

bg01.jpg : Then Glenn, like so many of us, so many that sometimes it’s hard to keep track of, got a sweater vest.

Glenn got a sweater vest.

bg02.jpg : Then Glenn got a tie, and some suit pants.  And Glenn got something else…Glenn got suspicious.

Glenn got a tie, and he got suspicious.

bg03.jpg : Glenn is as old as the Bill of Rights.

Glenn is as old as the Bill of Rights.

bg04.jpg :  Glenn’s left eyebrow says everything you need to know about science; be suspicious!

Glenn's eyebrow. What else need you know?

bg05.jpg : [WARNING!! WARNING!!! LIBERAL-LAMESTREAM-GOTCHA-MEDIA-LIKE TYPING DETECTED!!!  ++++CARRIER LOST+++++]

bg06.jpg : Glenn, having learned all there is to know, begins to teach.

Glenn teaches the one thing he knows.

bg07.jpg : Glenn reveals what really happened on that dark, sad day in 1990.

It was all Glenn. Yes, that is physically possible.

bg08.jpg :  Glenn Beck fulfills Kodos’ (or was it Kang’s?) campaign pledge.

Simpsons already did it.

bg09.jpg : Glenn finds a communist balloon.  Blow, Glenn, blow.

Did I mention it was a *red* balloon? Oh yes, I did.

….

Coming up tomorrow in Part 2 of The Unofficial (not quite yet) Authoritative Biography of Glenn Beck done via Background Images…more background images and more biography.

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