Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Stupid Alien Artifact

I avoided this movie in the theatre.  I even refused to buy it, or rent it myself.

I remember seeing a Southpark episode about Steven Spielberg and George Lucas going around raping everyone as a metaphor for this movie.  I didn’t think it could could be that bad.

I’m glad to admit, and this doesn’t happen very often, I was wrong.  Boy, was I wrong.

The metaphor of raping an American icon and making them say they enjoyed it is *exactly* what this movie was.  Where the hell did Double-O Indy come from?  Aliens?  Really?!  That’s the best you could do?

Anyone remember that part in the movie where we go from Indy being chained up to being nice guy to the crazy man?  Yea….and then crazy man comes back…and…and…there’s just so much stupid, stupid crap in this movie.

There’s a scene I recall that was particularly cringe-worthy.  Shia LeBouf (please….can he go to rehab or something for a couple years…maybe find himself….this exposure thing…it can go too far) is straddling two jeeps cruising at about 30 or 40 through the dense jungle (yea…rape).   Anyway, as he’s going through the blatantly foreshadowed rapier-battle with a paycheck-cashing Cate Blanchett, he starts to get repeatedly smashed in the groin with the underbrush.

That’s what watching this movie felt like…being repeatedly smashed in the groin with large bits of foilage.

And the worst part about it…the absolute most nasty thing….I frickin’ smiled at the end.

Maybe I was just glad it was over, and I could now apply some salve to my wounds.  I had watched an icon (Indy) get trashed by an icon (Ford) at the direction of other icons (Lucas, Speilberg).    No wonder idol worship has been banned since time immemorial.  It always leads to sadness.

World Energy Use Like U.S. Debt : Patently Unsustainable

The International Energy Agency raised an alarm on Wednesday with the release of its annual report, saying that a revolution in the energy business is required to maintain economic growth and stabilize greenhouse gas emissions.

The World Energy Outlook 2008 report, written for policy-makers, paints a troubling picture in terms of energy costs and the impact on global warming from burning fossil fuels. It calls for “radical action” from governments at all levels and a coordinated international response.

Although softening demand has pushed the price for oil down in the past year, the rising cost of extraction, combined with declining productivity rates at oil fields, means that the “era of cheap oil is over,” according to the report.


via IEA: worlds energy use is patently unsustainable | Green Tech – CNET News


Essentially the problem is coming as 2,500,000,000 people jump into that 21st century lifestyle someone made look so cool.  And it is cool.

It’s so coo that people become so detached from the world around them, and outside their borders, it leads the world to the brink of disaster.

Which is exactly where we are headed and in some very serious ways.   The economic crisis is largely something of our own making.  A tide of decisions that allowed the bubble to build and burst.

When it comes to “energy policy” the tide that is building is the same type of superhuman need that forces action.  The drive for energy is very much the drive for life. 

It is my own humble opinion that the Iraq War was a big part of the Bush/Cheney “energy policy” that failed so miserably.  The idea was to fortify the oil defenses in the ME in the guise of “democracy” and keep China out of that pie.  This would curtail their meteoric growth and assure a century of cheap energy and a dominant U.S. economic position.   Such was the “Project For A New American Century”.

It failed miserably, in case you missed it.   Strangely, the insane supporters of that plan still have jobs, for some reason.

What happened is far different, with China cutting deals with Iran, insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan proving reliably resistant, and oil prices fluctuating wildly. 

What is going to happen if we don’t change, is bad.  Really bad.  Fallout 3 bad. 

Up above is thee graph to watch.  That’s the pressure cooker to keep an eye on. 

And note here: I’m not talking about global warming.   I’m talking about people fighting over energy, like we have since discovering fire.

Occasionally we’ll have people wander by and mention how it’s usually much more efficient to build with that fire, rather than kill with it.  And usually it is (for some, it always is).

The equation changes quite a bit however, when someone else has all that energy and all one have to do to take it is kill them.  Then the more efficient path changes.  

My whole point here is to avoid the scenario where that “more efficient path” becomes clear to those dealing with their own domestic clamoring hordes.  We avoid that scenario by doing two things, using less energy and finding better ways to make more.

Personally I think the first part of that solution is more important than the second, as it makes the second goal easier, but for some reason I expect to remain a minority in that opinion.

Calling for personal sacrifice when people are ready to party is never a popular opinion.    Yet that’s what the situation calls for.  I wonder who’s listening?